Deconstructioning Biblical Womenhood
Deconstruction -
A critical look at the theologies that we as Believers pick up along the course of our life. We place these ideas into the foundation of our lives, thinking they are truth, but we find that once we start building on these blocks they are nothing more than empty, cardboard boxes that can not withstand the weight that life places on them. We will find that one side of our house will start collapsing.
This is what started happening to me about seven years ago.
I started seeing that the bricks I was building on, were not holding up.
They were, in fact, empty, cardboard boxes that were not producing Godly fruit.
Not realizing it at that time, that I had started down the course of deconstructing the belief system that I had embraced 6 years prior.
I had purchased a marriage book that promised a wonderful marriage.
The author boasted of the "glorious" marriage her and her husband had.
I was skeptical to say the least.
I am very anti-marriage books, having never seen any of them produce any good fruit in peoples lives. I do not even read the majority of spiritual living books out there.
I am very anti-marriage books, having never seen any of them produce any good fruit in peoples lives. I do not even read the majority of spiritual living books out there.
It was within the next couple of years, with the popularity of blogging, that the term "Biblical Womanhood" was coined. The idea was based on Titus 2 and Ephesians 5, a Biblical concept, although, slowly the scriptures have gotten so twisted out of context that a women finds herself working harder at trying to please her husband than pleasing God.
Many more books came out of the "Bibical womanhood" movement with women trying to throw in their opinions of what it means to be a true "Biblical Woman". I read a few and followed the different blogs.
A lot of these "ideas" are founded in a group that has been named the patriarchy movement.
The idea of the "patriarchy movement" puts men right back to "ruling over his home" instead of walking in love and goodwill towards his wife and family.
Putting himself as the ultimate authority over his family, essentially making him his own "god" of his home. A women has no rights other than to "obey" and "submit" to her husbands authority as "this is pleasing to the Lord". Really it should not be called "Bibical womanhood" but patriarchy womanhood.
Women, caught up in this idea, are now finding themselves in these emotionally destructive marriages. Prisoners in their own homes. Not only are they living in marriages with no love or security, they are now finding themselves in spiritual bondage believing that this is "God's will" for them to serve their husbands with absolutely no say within the marriage.
Instead of a reciprocal marriage of two people giving 110%, now the sole responsibly of the marriage's success is laid completely on the women's shoulders.
She can not have any opinions, no feelings, make zero decisions, she needs to completely deny who God created her to be, she is simple there to make her husband happy.
It was around 2013 after I had joined a popular bloggers facebook group who was "mentoring" women in "Biblical Womenhood" that I really started taking a good, hard look at the idea.
It happens that the author of the book that this blogger had based her blog on, had revised her book stating that women should work to earn extra income for the family. This greatly disturbed her, stating that a women has no business working at all, declaring that this is disobeying Gods order.
I began to see something else as well.
Something that I, too, had fallen into.
An extreme judgementalness, towards other women and their issues in marriage.
Everything that these women experienced was their own doing - every problem, every issue, anything negative in their marriage, to the point of not feeling loved by their husbands.
The woman's fault.
Absolutely no responsibility is given to the man.
1 Peter 3:1 is touted as the scripture that "women can win over their husbands".
The husband is abusive.
The wife can win him over by not saying a word.
A husband isn't saved.
No problem, a wife can win him over.
And on it goes.
Not only is this a grossly misinterpretation of the scripture, it is putting a women in a form of "holy spirit", that her actions can change a man. That idea itself is dangerous as nobody has any control of "changing" another person.
I had touted this idea myself.
Thinking that every little thing wrong in a marriage, even the children's disobedience, was, the wives fault. It was easy to look at other marriages having issues or parents having issues with their children and declaring - well, if that woman was more "submissive" or if she wasn't working, or if she just did this, she wouldn't have that issue.
The idea is basically, everything is the wife's fault. Leaving the husband not having to take ownership for anything. The world simple revolves around the husband and it is the women's job to make his world perfect, to make him happy.
Around 2014 I started seeing that this idea does not work.
It is impossible to carry the entire weight of ones marriage and training of the children solely on the wife's shoulders.
She will eventually cave.
The last year I have taken a hard look at what I was actually believing. Seeing the destruction of peoples lives, women's lives, and realizing there is something wrong with this teaching.
It was not producing Godly fruit in my own life.
The fruit talked about in Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, temperance: against such things there is no law."
The last couple years I have started taking a critical look at what the scriptures concerning women, are actually saying.
Looking at the meaning, who was being addressed, and what was actually being said.
People have twisted the "curse of marriage",they have taken the scripture talking about eve being decieved to a greater level, headship/submission as been turned into rule over /obey. The very scriptures that Paul wrote to free men and women in marriage has in turn been twisted right back to the curse that God set up in Genesis 3:16b.
The idea of the "patriarchy movement" puts men right back to "ruling over his home" instead of walking in love and goodwill towards his wife and family.
Putting himself as the ultimate authority over his family, essentially making him his own "god" of his home. A women has no rights other than to "obey" and "submit" to her husbands authority as "this is pleasing to the Lord". Really it should not be called "Bibical womanhood" but patriarchy womanhood.
Women, caught up in this idea, are now finding themselves in these emotionally destructive marriages. Prisoners in their own homes. Not only are they living in marriages with no love or security, they are now finding themselves in spiritual bondage believing that this is "God's will" for them to serve their husbands with absolutely no say within the marriage.
Instead of a reciprocal marriage of two people giving 110%, now the sole responsibly of the marriage's success is laid completely on the women's shoulders.
She can not have any opinions, no feelings, make zero decisions, she needs to completely deny who God created her to be, she is simple there to make her husband happy.
It was around 2013 after I had joined a popular bloggers facebook group who was "mentoring" women in "Biblical Womenhood" that I really started taking a good, hard look at the idea.
It happens that the author of the book that this blogger had based her blog on, had revised her book stating that women should work to earn extra income for the family. This greatly disturbed her, stating that a women has no business working at all, declaring that this is disobeying Gods order.
I began to see something else as well.
Something that I, too, had fallen into.
An extreme judgementalness, towards other women and their issues in marriage.
Everything that these women experienced was their own doing - every problem, every issue, anything negative in their marriage, to the point of not feeling loved by their husbands.
The woman's fault.
Absolutely no responsibility is given to the man.
1 Peter 3:1 is touted as the scripture that "women can win over their husbands".
The husband is abusive.
The wife can win him over by not saying a word.
A husband isn't saved.
No problem, a wife can win him over.
And on it goes.
Not only is this a grossly misinterpretation of the scripture, it is putting a women in a form of "holy spirit", that her actions can change a man. That idea itself is dangerous as nobody has any control of "changing" another person.
I had touted this idea myself.
Thinking that every little thing wrong in a marriage, even the children's disobedience, was, the wives fault. It was easy to look at other marriages having issues or parents having issues with their children and declaring - well, if that woman was more "submissive" or if she wasn't working, or if she just did this, she wouldn't have that issue.
The idea is basically, everything is the wife's fault. Leaving the husband not having to take ownership for anything. The world simple revolves around the husband and it is the women's job to make his world perfect, to make him happy.
Around 2014 I started seeing that this idea does not work.
It is impossible to carry the entire weight of ones marriage and training of the children solely on the wife's shoulders.
She will eventually cave.
The last year I have taken a hard look at what I was actually believing. Seeing the destruction of peoples lives, women's lives, and realizing there is something wrong with this teaching.
It was not producing Godly fruit in my own life.
The fruit talked about in Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, temperance: against such things there is no law."
The last couple years I have started taking a critical look at what the scriptures concerning women, are actually saying.
Looking at the meaning, who was being addressed, and what was actually being said.
People have twisted the "curse of marriage",they have taken the scripture talking about eve being decieved to a greater level, headship/submission as been turned into rule over /obey. The very scriptures that Paul wrote to free men and women in marriage has in turn been twisted right back to the curse that God set up in Genesis 3:16b.
I can only say at this point of my journey that God allowed me to go down this path and He has opened my eyes to the untruth, so that I can tell others who are being held in bondage with the deceptive teachings and the twisting of so many scriptures.
The Bible is simple, Love one another.
That isn't that hard but we have made the simple gospel message extremely complicated and something that we have to obtain not something that we simple rest in.
The Bible is simple, Love one another.
That isn't that hard but we have made the simple gospel message extremely complicated and something that we have to obtain not something that we simple rest in.
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